The List of Open Relationship Rules That Works
If you regularly read my blog or even if it’s your first visit (Hi!) It’s no secret and easy to discover that my boyfriend and I enjoy trios, trio simulation, fantasies kinky and pretty much everything else a little “out there”.
You can read everything about what happened my boyfriend shared me with another man.
However, being so open and inviting other people into our love life can be difficult and it wasn’t always as simple as it is now.
Fortunately, my boyfriend is extremely open to new things and we both understand the need to talk about what we want out of a sexual experience. This is not always the case, I once had a boyfriend who couldn’t understand the idea and in the end, he was cheating on me.
It is very important to have rules in a relationship, the most important is that you get the most out of your relationship and both of you are happy. You have to create rules, do’s and don’ts, and stick to them.
Disclosure: I am NOT in a completely open relationship, myself and my boyfriend do not go out or have relationships outside of ours. We did it and we were open, but right now and for a while, we haven’t slept with other people without the other being present.
We have sex with other people, we have trios with MFM and FMF, we have participated in group sex and enjoy all kinds of sex with other people.
These experiences have been built over the past few years and are still new to me.
I have made this list of rules for people in long term relationships who want to feel the thrill, excitement and desire for a new sexual encounter without destroying the love that 39; they have.
The list of legendary rules for semi-open relationships
As I mentioned before, I am not always in an open relationship but we are open to all kinds of sexual experiences. I’m not sure of the official name of what we do, but it makes us happy and it works for us.
This is for people with a main relationship who are not polyamory but enjoy the trios, share your partner, discover new sexual experiences and sometimes their relationship can be classified as an open relationship.
The rules below are my rules, but take what resonates with you and your relationship and adjust it so that it works perfectly for you. These rules can be applied to relationships like mine, open relationships, polyamorous relationships and any type of sexual experience you have with your partner. It is always a good idea to always have rules with your partner so that you can both enjoy every aspect of your relationship.
Rule # 1 – Be on the same page as your partner
It is so important to always talk to your partner and put both on the same wavelength what you expect from your experience. Make sure you are both looking for the same things, make sure you both know what you don’t want to do and what you want to gain from doing new sex things.
You may find that you are both 100% on the same page or you may have completely different opinions and you have to work to make sure that you are both satisfied and happy. Never do something with which you or your partner are not satisfied, it will only end badly. I speak from experience, my ex-boyfriend would sleep with other women without even asking me and in the end he was cheating on me, it was a horrible feeling and it all happened because I Didn’t set my rules and he didn’t take my thoughts into consideration.
Rule # 2 – Always wear protection
This shouldn’t even have to be discussed, make sure you always wear protection. An unwanted pregnancy or an STD can end a relationship, always use protection if you share partners, enter into an open relationship, or anything else other people enter your relationship.
Take a pack of 100 condoms and whatever their use! It won’t kill the mood, it doesn’t feel different, just use them.
Rule n ° 3 – Do not have open communication
My boyfriend and I organize trios on apps like Tinder, but we do it together and are completely open to the people we talk about too.
Every message we send to the person, we make sure that we are both there and we never contact the person again after sex, unless we both want to meet them again, but it all happens together .
We do not give private emails to the other person or share anything without the two being present, it stops a lot of jealousy, even if we are not both too jealous, it gives you peace of mind 39; spirit, especially for me who was deceived this way.
Rule n ° 4 – The confidence test
You need total confidence, but you also need to be able to ask for total openness.
Do you send phone messages without my knowing it?
is a question you should be able to ask your partner and have him answer honestly.
If you hesitate on these kinds of questions before opening your relationship, it will only be sorrow and jealousy.
Because most jealousy can be stopped with comfort, confidence and openness. Make sure you can both trust yourself 100% and only until you have that trust 100% if you are thinking about opening your relationship.
Rule # 5 – Avoid looking for emotional ties at all costs
If you are looking for someone to satisfy you emotionally, this will cause friction.
You want to have chemistry with the person you have sex with, but don’t try to have sex with them unless you are polyamorous and both of you and your partner are agree on this point.
If it is sex, thrills and excitement for both of you and for one of you start to develop feelings towards another person with whom you have had sex without prior consent and recognition, problems will arise. It is always better to avoid emotional ties if you are like me and my boyfriend as this can cause problems of jealousy and we just prefer to have sex with a third person and move on.
Rule # 6 – Do it once a month (max)
Opening your relationship is much less complex when it comes to a monthly deal.
You can get excited, take advantage of it and make a big deal out of it, you have time to solve the problems that arise and you can find the right people to share your relationship with.
Friends have discovered that if they start doing it every day, it consumes their own relationship and they lose what they all started for. Nine times out of ten, they ended up separating because the other person simply cannot bear jealousy and communication, but stopped.
Rule n ° 7 – Friends, don’t f ** k friends
Trust me, your only option for opening your relationship could be finding a friend, but that doesn’t mean it’s a good idea.
Friends have too much power.
Instead, build relationships with people in different cities, different groups of friends, and keep your personal information out.
That way you can have sex, use it, be naughty, then wake up the next day and not make it burn your life and your relationship or make it bothersome.
There is also a chance with friends that they will develop feelings for you or your partner, so we always make sure to keep the two completely separate.
Rule # 8 – Don’t f ** k people more than once
You don’t have to follow that, we’ve slept with people more than once, but these people are couples who are just like us.
We do not have sex with people more than once, as this prevents us from forming relationships or having an emotional connection with this person.
Even if we both love each other, you never know when the feelings will start.
Rule # 9 – Don’t rush (take it easy)
You will probably be very excited the first time you do it and you can get a little crazy and do things that you wouldn’t normally do, just make sure you are both aware that it can happen.
Try to moderate it, don’t rush and really enjoy the experience.
Rule # 10 – Keep It Equal
If you like men and he likes women, you have to meet halfway and compromise. Start with a woman, see how you both love her, then move on to a man and see how you both love her.
If your partner wants to do anal for example, be sure to do it too as it stops jealousy and allows you to get the most out of your situation.
Opening up your relationship should be just as exciting for both of you, so make sure you make the right choices and understand what the other is doing and not wanting.
Rule # 11 – Be careful what you put online
You don’t know if you are going to go nuts, so stay safe online. We only use reputable sites to respond to our hookups, but even then you can find a bad egg. Often we meet at the bar for a drink in order to familiarize ourselves in advance and if one of us is not satisfied, the deal is canceled and we make sure that the person knows before the meeting.
I never let anyone film or take photos of our meetings, but everything is organized in advance by SMS, email or phone.
Rule # 12 – Have Sexual Rules!
This rule is so important to me and my boyfriend. We like to have “sexual rules” that we have to follow and we always do.
None of us like to be left out, unless it’s a cuckold fantasy, so we always make sure to include the other person.
Anal is ok but we have to ask first. Moaning is good, but don’t hide the person’s name, have fun, but don’t go over the top is our general rule.
Showering with the other person afterwards is a 50/50, sometimes we like that person to go, then we jump in the shower together and sometimes the three of us go to the shower and usually f ** k again but we make sure to always ask the other one before jumping in the shower.
Overall, everything is fine for us but there are a few exceptions and we really respect them and make sure we stick to them.
Rule # 13 – Do not have sex alone
Even if I would like to meet a stallion at the bar and take him to my hotel room and ride him like a whore, it will always leave my boyfriend jealous. This is why it is important to have rules, because if I did, it would bother my boyfriend and this is where cracks start to appear.
It works for us and we are more than happy to do it all with each other, but doing it alone can be for you and your partner, so be sure to talk about it.
My boyfriend and I share, make threesomes, go to sex parties / clubs, but we try to do it all together and get their consent before doing anything.
Rule # 14 – Don’t Let It Become Your Relationship / Part of Your Personality
It’s an incredible thing, but it’s a small part of your relationship and shouldn’t define you or your partner.
Did the opening of my relationship have strange effects?
I wanted to answer some of the questions I had before I opened my relationship, things I had always wondered about. It is always good to have someone else’s point of view, so take my thoughts and advice and keep doing your research if you are still unsure and undecided .
It strengthened our relationship
I have never had a more fulfilling relationship, I am satisfied in every way and so is he.
I can grow old and live an incredible life without silly rules that hold us both. However, I was on the other side of that medal, where it ended with our split because the rules just weren’t in place and he took advantage of it.
Talking about it is essential and although you may feel exhausted to discuss it over and over again, talk about it a little more.
I made the sex that we alone much hotter
We still have a lot of sex together, most of the time we use sex toys and get intimate and this has been so important to us because we always light up and get along.
Reduced our stress
It sounds so stupid, but once a month we go to a hotel (usually) and spend a night filled with dark and deep fantasies and fantasies, we are like animals and it completely resets our relationship and our life. It really allowed us to open up to each other and explore our deepest fantasies.
I feel less trapped
I never really felt trapped in my relationship, but opening up my relationship allowed me and him to explore new things that I never would have had before .
We have evolved as a couple
We are both in incredible shape, we want to look good for each other and the people we share with and it’s amazing.
Questions about open relationships
- Should I open my relationship?
Honestly, you should sit down with your partner and discuss it until you have considered all the possibilities and all the scenarios. Don’t just act on impulse when you’re excited, make sure it’s something you both want and check again.
- Are you jealous even after these rules?
I wouldn’t say I get jealous, but I have body problems and low time from time to time. It really helps me to do this only once a month. Neither of us has ever broken our rules and we always choose someone with whom we are both satisfied, so there is no reason why I should get jealous.
- What if I want to sleep with someone else in private?
Currently, it’s not something that I and my boyfriend want to do, but you could be. The only thing you can do is discuss it with your partner and follow their rules and decisions.
- Do you ever want to become polyamorous?
A full-time relationship is enough for me, between work, health, relaxation and loving my boyfriend, there is no time between juggling someone else.
Besides, I love sex, I’m not the kind of loving girl, so sex is great but having to do all things in love with multiple people… YUK. However, I can understand the people who do it and really respect them.
Everything here will change over time as I change and my relationship grows.
I will keep it up to date with what I think is the best list of rules to have when opening your relationship.
If you have any ideas, be sure to leave them in the comments.