The #1 Guide To Sex Lube (And How To Use It With Your Sex Toys)

When it comes to any activity related to sex, all women know that it is important that they are “wet”.

This helps to ensure that they are feeling well.

In fact, any kind of vaginal penetration without lubrication requires some form of lubrication to be even more effective from a distance.

It doesn’t matter if they are penetrated by a man or a sex toy.

However, when it comes to sex toys, the concept of being “wet” is strongly associated with the use of lubricant.

Let’s start by explaining why the lubricant is so commonly used with sex toys.

And then go into everything you need to know to successfully integrate the lubricant into your sex toys.

Why you need lubricant (often)

Before explaining why manual lubrication is often required, let’s discuss the other form of lubrication that women know and love: natural lubrication.

This lubrication is done by women to not only allow the safe insertion of a man’s penis, but also to make sex pleasurable by reducing friction between the penis and the vaginal walls.

However, natural lubrication is a process that not only takes time, but also takes a natural progression of excitement.

In typical sexual encounters, this is usually done by the advent of foreplay.

Given even a few minutes of intimate foreplay with your partner, your vagina will usually be fully lubricated and ready to penetrate.

But with sex toys, the situation is a little different.

Compared to a male partner who physically needs to be aroused enough to maintain a solid erection for insertion, sex toys do not require this waiting period.

While this is not a bad thing for a woman, it can lead to situations where she is not yet completely lubricated.

Even if you are mentally “excited”, physically, you may not be ready for vaginal penetration.

In this case, inserting your sex toy will often be uncomfortable, or even downright painful (it will certainly not seem pleasant to you).

Not only that, but in most sexual encounters with a real partner, you can be naturally lubricated through the use of foreplay.

But with sex toys, you don’t have that option. This leaves you with very few options for naturally obtaining lubrication.

For most women, the only way to get the right physical condition for vaginal penetration is to focus on stimulating the clitoris.

At least to start things off.

But it still takes time.

This dilemma is the reason why lubricant is often needed – to physically prepare you for vaginal penetration.

Quickly and effortlessly.

The sexual lubricant is of great help for sexual pleasure
The lubricant prepares you for penetration quickly and effortlessly.


The lubricant is perfectly normal

If you have never used lubricant before, rest assured that it is perfectly normal to use it in a recreational setting.

Although the lubricant is sometimes stigmatized only by people suffering from “vaginal dryness”, lubrication can be used by everyone.

Even by men when they use toys like anal beads.

So if you feel oblivious to using lubricant to improve your sex life, don’t be!

You should rather be happy knowing that the lubricant will help you achieve your greatest sexual pleasure.

Different types of lubricant

The lubricant is available in all kinds of different materials, each with its advantages and disadvantages.

The three most common are:

  • Water-based lubricant
  • Silicone-based lubricant
  • Oil-based lubricant

Here is a quick overview of these three common lubricants.

Water-based lubricant

No matter which sexual activity you participate in, the water-based lubricant will be effective.

In terms of sex toys, this means that the water-based lubricant is compatible with all sex toy materials.

And even safe to use with all types of condoms.

Water-based lubricant coming out of the bottle with a white background


The water-based lubricant is compatible with all sexual activities and very easy to clean.

Another great advantage is that they wash quite easily, which makes cleaning up once you are done going wild!

It is the most versatile lubricant on the market, and should be your preferred choice in most cases.

(Keep reading to see how other types of lubricants can be better for you personally, however).

Silicone-based lubricant

It is the ideal lubricant to use if you have very sensitive skin.

The reason is that silicone is hypoallergenic.

This means that you will not experience any reaction with the lubricant on your skin.

The silicone-based lubricant usually lasts longer than the water-based lubricant, which means you won’t have to reapply the lubricant as often.

However, the use of this lubricant has a major drawback …

… They are incompatible with silicone toys.

If your silicone toys come in contact with a silicone-based lubricant, the surface of the penis can deteriorate over time.

Transparent bottle of silicone-based lubricant with white background


The silicone-based lubricant lasts longer than the water-based lubricant, but can damage your silicone sex toys over time.

Not only does this mean that your toy is no longer as smooth and beautiful as it once was, but it also means that it is less hygienic.

Any irregularity on the surface of your sex toy makes it easier for bacteria to form there.

So even if silicone toys are the safest and best toys, if you use silicone lubricant with them, all bets are cleared.

And you will most likely end up not only with a damaged toy, but also with an unsanitary toy.

However, this is the only thing to consider with a silicone-based lubricant.

You can certainly use it with other sex toys or in general, as it is still a very high quality lubricant.

Also keep a water-based lubricant for your silicone toys and you should be golden.

Oil-based lubricant

If you want to reapply the lubricant even less often than with a silicone-based lubricant, then the oil-based lubricant is your answer.

They last much longer than any other lubricant.

In most cases, a single application of oil-based lubricant will last your entire sex or masturbation session.

And they are perfectly safe with most sex toys.

However, these lubricants are often associated with higher rates of infections.

And they are not fun to clean at all.

They take a long time to completely wash their skin and sex toys.

And oil-based lubricants are also very likely to stain your sheets and clothes, which only makes things more messy in the end.

Oil based lubricant bottle


Oil-based lubricants last a very long time, but lead to higher infection rates and the risk of staining your sheets and clothes.

Note that the above list is only the main fats available.

There are lubricants like hybrid lubricants that combine elements of several lubricants.

As well as “natural” lubricants that use natural ingredients.

In any case, among the three lubricants listed above, we only recommend using water-based and silicone-based lubricants.

Oil-based lubricants can be useful for actual application, but in practice they end up causing more risk and headaches than they are worth.

So, limit yourself to the use of a water-based or silicone-based lubricant for your sex toy adventures.

In fact, you should have both to cover a wide range of applications.

Some final thoughts on the selection of your lubricant

Although most lubricants are made with your health in mind, some lubricants do not fit this mold.

Specially new lubricants.

If you see things like “hot” or “hot” lubricants, we suggest that you avoid them completely.

Not only because they are not necessary for having a good time, but also because they can be unhealthy for you.

Bottle of turquoise lubricant with a large red X and zoom in on the word Tingle


If you see a lubricant that uses words like “tingling” or “warming”, avoid them as much as possible.

Your vagina is intended to maintain a certain pH, and many of these innovative lubricants are at an entirely different pH level.

At the very least, if you want to try these exotic lubricants, be prepared to stop using them if your vagina reacts negatively.

It means something like vaginal irritation or worse, inflammation.

And that applies to any lubricant, even if it’s an approved water-based lubricant, for example.

Every woman’s body is different, just like every lubricant, so even two water-based lubricants can make your body react differently.

So no matter which lubricant you use, watch how your body reacts and make a change if something isn’t right for you.

And once you’ve found a lubricant that works, stick with it!

How to apply lubricant

Now that you know what kind of lubricant there is, all that remains is how to apply them.

Note that whatever type of lubricant you use, it is more or less applied in the same way.

In typical sexual interactions, the lubricant is applied directly to the man’s penis, or occasionally to the woman’s vagina or anus.

Your application of lubricant when using sex toys is similar, either by applying lubricant directly to the sex toy itself, or by applying it directly to your body.

Direct application of lubricant on your sex toys

In this case, it is best to apply a uniform layer of lubricant, the entire surface of the sex toy.

This will ensure that you are fully covered for a smooth and pleasant insertion of your sex toy into the hole of your choice.

In addition, if you lather the lubricant directly with your fingers, it will help warm the lubricant before coming into contact with your sensitive private parts.

This helps make the initial insertion into your body much more pleasant.

Close up of hand with sexual lubricant on fingertips


Applying sex lubricant to your sex toys via your hands will help warm the lubricant before contact with your private parts.


Apply lubricant to your body

This method of applying lubricant, although quite common, is not the most effective way of lubricating.

The reason is that it is quite difficult to get the right lubrication inside your body.

Partly because you can’t see what you’re lubricating.

All you have to do is insert your lubricated fingers and apply the lubricant as best as you can.

Only being able to tell if you’ve applied lubricant everywhere based on your sense of touch.

Which in this case is much less reliable than your sense of sight.

Even with the advent of the sexual lubricant applicator (which injects lubricant directly into your vagina or anus), this dilemma still exists.

Close up of blue sexual lubricant applicator extracting sexual lubricant from bottle


Sex lubricant applicators make applying lubricant to your body very easy, but still leaves you wondering if you’ve covered everything with enough lubrication.


Therefore, if you are unable to fully lubricate all of your vaginal walls, the sex toy can be quite uncomfortable at start-up, as the unlubricated sex toy comes into contact with non-lubricated areas of your vaginal walls.

(The same applies to anal toys, although it is much easier to lubricate everything completely because the anal cavity is so tight and compact).

The only case in which we recommend lubrication in this way is that associated with direct lubrication of your sex toys.

Especially for women who like to use a lot of lubricant, as this helps put more lubricant in place for penetration.

(There is only a lot of lubricant that you can apply to a sex toy without it dripping!).

Otherwise, the best way to lubricate is directly to your sex toys.

Lubricant for anal play vs vaginal play

The exact amount of lubricant you use will often be very different depending on whether you intend to use your sex toy in your anal cavity or in your vagina.

In general, anal penetration will require much more lubricant than vaginal penetration.

The reason is that your anus does not lubricate naturally as your vagina does.

In addition, the anal cavity is much tighter, lending itself to more friction and a greater need for lubrication.

When using sex toys with the intention of vaginal penetration, the amount of lubricant should typically be much more modest.

Since your vagina will eventually lubricate naturally when you really start to go down.

The anus, on the other hand, needs all the external lubrication it can get!

Note that these are just typical examples, and the exact amount of lubricant you will apply will also vary depending on other factors (more on that below).

Always keep in mind the sex toy and the app

This is a good general tip to keep in mind before you start applying lubricant.

The amount of lubricant you use should be directly related not only to the intended application of the sex toy, but also to the vigor of the penetration that you intend to receive.

For example, if you plan to do it all with a big dildo or vibrator, with extremely fast and deep penetrations, now is the perfect time to apply lubricant liberally.

On the other hand, using something like an anal plug, where the lubricant is really only needed for the initial insertion and final removal, the lubricant should be used sparingly.

Always keep in mind not only the sex toy you are using, but also the way you plan to use it.

Lubricate with Your Pleasure in mind

As a final tip, never forget that the purpose of the lubricant is to make your sex toy experience very enjoyable.

Every woman is different and reacts differently to her sex toys, so there really is no wrong answer to the way you apply your lubricant.

So if you feel the need to be very generous with your lubricant application, go for it!

And if you don’t even need a lubricant to get rid of your sex toys, don’t feel like you have to use it.

In short, do what makes you happy.

The lubricant can be your best friend in the world of sex toys

Whichever way you naturally lubricate, adding manual lubricant will only help to increase your level of pleasure.

This is especially true when you talk about sex toys, which often leave you with no natural lubrication and no time or money to otherwise lubricate you.

While the lubricant may not be a necessity for all women who use sex toys, it can be of great help to those who really need it.

Close up of woman distributing sexual lubricant in her hands
The lubricant can really take your sexual pleasure to new heights!

And even if you don’t need it, you can’t go wrong by adding extra lubrication while you penetrate yourself.

So adopt the concept of using the lubricant and if you wish, learn to integrate it into your sex life.

Especially when you use your sex toys.

Follow our tips and tricks above, and you will be well on your way to maximizing your sexual satisfaction using lubricant.